Looking back to a year ago, I was full of fear. I wasn't sure how any of this was going to work. I was trying to get the house ready to put on the market, I was walking away from my full time job moving to part time and knowing that was only through the end of the year. I was going back to school after being away for eight years. I was absolutely terrified. I was terrified of failing. Of falling flat on my face. At 31 years old, I was worried about not fitting in. Not having anyone to talk to in class. Being the odd one out because I had a little "life" under my belt.
Sometimes all you can do is run with that fear and keep going. Push forward. You have two choices, sit with your fear or do something with it. The last year has been hands down the hardest year of my life, but it has also been a year full of growth. I have learned more about myself as a Christian, a woman, a mom, a friend, a student and as an employee. There isn't a single aspect of my life that hasn't been impacted by the changes I've seen in this season. I cried more tears of frustration and of joy this last year because sometimes you just don't have the words.
There have been struggles and dark days, but there has been a lot of good. My fears of not having friends at school have been cast away. I have been surrounded with love and encouragement from an amazing group of people. The professors and staff members at school have all been amazing and compassionate. Most days, my faith in humanity is restored by my interactions with these individuals. I feel immensely blessed for the opportunity to sit and learn every day. Just don't ask me how blessed I feel when I'm fifty pages in on a constitutional law reading because I might not be as upbeat about the whole thing.
During my down time over the last month, I have spent a lot of time reflecting. I had a chance to do some personal reading and really absorb the message. I've spent some time trying to get inside the mind of a two year old and understand the struggles and frustrations miss Izzy experiences. She is a child of extremes and continues to challenge me. I think it's safe to say she and I are both in a season of change and growth right now, but I'm really enjoying our mommy daughter duo!
I have tried to cram a lot in for us this summer. We made a trip to the zoo with papa and grandma earlier this month. We have done some swimming, which is a favorite for Izzy. We made a speed trip to the State Fair, which was cut short when someone spiked a 104 degree fever. Bless the EMT's in the first aid station at the fair who confirmed what my mama gut was telling me. Apparently Izzy acquired her heat intolerance from her mama. Sorry kiddo! On the bright side, mine isn't as bad now as it was when I was younger, so lets hope the same holds true for her.
We still have a lot of activities planned for the fall. Next month we celebrate Izzy's 3rd birthday. I'm still trying to come to terms with it. We have family pictures scheduled for her birthday weekend as well. Let's hope she wants to cooperate! We also have harvest and pumpkin patches to look forward to. We are headed into my favorite time of year, and I am pumped. Football season is also just around the corner, and that's the best season in my book! No trips to Green Bay planned this year, maybe a summer trip next year is in order!
For those wondering how Izzy is doing, she continues to grow physically as well as emotionally and mentally. Her vocabulary blows my mind. Her sass sometimes mortifies me. She is a bundle of energy every day. If she isn't, you know she's sick. She is an amazing sleeper and does best when she gets 12-13 hours of sleep per night. She still is taking a nap (at least at home on the weekends, daycare has a difficult time getting her to sit still for more than a hot minute). Potty training is something that is on our radar, but not something I think Izzy is fully ready to commit to. It is definitely going to need to be her idea. She loves music and dancing and the girl knows how to find a beat! She loves reading and is quite animated with her storytelling! She is obsessed with water in pools and fountains. She is learning to be affectionate both with Maya and with me. She was never a snuggly baby, so I'm actually enjoying the snuggle time with her. My biggest growth moment over the summer with her has been to stop and focus on her. There are nights I end up sitting with her in my lap in the middle of the floor because she has had a meltdown over something and the girl just needs a hug. I have had to realize that her lashing out and misbehavior is a cry for attention and she deserves my attention.
I hope you all had a wonderful summer and are enjoying the last days as we roll closer to September.
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