Four Months Old

We made it to four months already.  I say it every month, but the time is seriously just flying by.  Izzy is so much fun right now because it seems like every day is something new with her.  She is "talking" to us all the time now.  Sometimes it's just screeching and sometimes it sounds a little more like actual words coming out of her mouth.  Either way, it's adorable (except when it's at 6 AM on Saturday).

 

This last month was eventful, for sure.  She had her first visit to the doctor for a non well baby visit.  Unfortunately she came out angry after the doctor checked her ears and discovered she had an infection on the right side.  After a forty minute wait at the pharmacy (lucky for them she was asleep during this time), we came away the proud owners of our first bottle of amoxicillin.

I was actually pretty upset that after only three and a half months she needed to be on antibiotics; the joys of daycare.  Luckily, there have been some other nastier bugs going around at daycare that we have so far been able to dodge.

In addition to talking, our little lady is really trying hard to roll over.  She can get onto her side, but she just needs that final oomph to push her over.  I have read most babies roll from their stomach to their back first.  This kid hates being on her stomach for more than five minutes, so I'm guessing she is going to roll from back to front first.  Of course, she might go from her stomach to her back first in protest of being put on her stomach.  She does already have a bit of a tude, so it's quite possible she would do such a thing.

All the ladies in her room at daycare think she is pretty hilarious and adorable.  Of course, that might be helped by the fact that there is only one other girl in her room right now and she is only there part time.  Most days, she is outnumbered by dudes.  I'm sure she makes the best of it!

These past few weeks, Izzy has really gotten into toys.  She grabs at them and of course puts them in her mouth.  Her feet and hands are constantly going.  She actually has spots on the outsides of both little toes right now where she has slammed them into things.  Andrew says she wouldn't be his daughter if she didn't constantly have some kind of injury; Lord help me!  We transitioned her out of the infant sling in her bathtub, so she gets to sit down in the water more now.  She loves splashing in the water!     

At her four month appointment, she weighed in at 16 lbs and 4 oz.  That puts her somewhere in the 80th percentile for her weight, which is perfect.  She measured at 26 1/4 inches, which puts her in the 99th percentile plus for her height.  This might explain why she isn't able to fit in a lot of one piece outfits.  She grew out of her 3 month one piece outfits shortly after turning three months old.  Depending on the brand, I was able to get a little more time out of her 3 month onesies, but have now had to pull them out of her wardrobe rotation.  That meant putting away the onesie she wore for her newborn photos in the hospital.  Yes, I might have cried a little when I did that.  I have pulled some of the tighter fitting 0-3 month pants out of her drawers as well.  She currently has a range of 3 month, 3-6 month and 6 month pants in her dresser (typical woman to have multiple pant sizes).  She fits in 6 month sleep and play outfits perfectly in terms of length, but is absolutely swimming in some of them everywhere else.  I told Andrew Izzy has more clothes than I do.  He just smiles and says, "she is your daughter, are you surprised".

While most of this post is all about the exciting things Izzy is up to, we also celebrated Buddy's 13th birthday this past week.  Most days, you wouldn't guess he was 13.  He may not keep up with Maya at a full sprint in the yard, but don't count him out.  He still chases after rabbits, squirrels and squeak toys like he isn't a day over five.  This past year with Buddy has been the hardest of all the years since we got him.  He reminded us of his age a few times.  We made the decision in the spring to put him on heart medication for his heart murmur.  We did a short trial, and found that he was quite a bit more active while on the medications.  Don't get me wrong, he still does his share of napping throughout the day.  We joke that he has a skill at finding soft, warm spots to sleep.

We, of course, celebrated Buddy's birthday with pupcakes and new chew toys! 

 

Cover Your Ears, Boys... Let's Talk About Breastfeeding

This has been a hot topic within the circle of my mommy friends for a while.  I joked with one of them last week that I was going to write a blog post about this very topic, so, here it is.  Fair warning, these are my thoughts, and the thoughts of a few of my above mentioned mommy friends.  These certainly aren't the experiences or thoughts of everyone. 

As soon as people find out you are expecting, this seems to be one of the topics that comes up.  Are you going to breastfeed?  You hear the phrase "breast is best" until you think you can't possibly hear it any more.  I, like many bright eyed (while you are newly pregnant and still have energy) pregnant ladies was beyond excited about breastfeeding.  I immediately signed up for the breastfeeding class offered through the hospital, called my health insurance company to confirm my eligibility for a breast pump, and began research on which one would be the best and which accessories I would need. 

We attended breastfeeding class shortly after Labor Day this year, so just a few weeks before miss Isabelle arrived.  I felt certain, after going to class, that I knew everything I needed to know to have a successful breastfeeding journey.  At our last meeting with our Doula, we talked about breastfeeding.  Again, I was sure I would have a wonderful breastfeeding experience; it was going to be beautiful just like they described in class. 

Certainly, there are moments when our breastfeeding journey has been beautiful.  I will even say the good moments outweigh the bad ones.  However, I do think it is a disservice to excited mamas to be to say it's all going to be sunshine and roses.  Not to burst any pregnant ladies bubbles, but it isn't going to be (this is the part where all the breastfeeding mamas out there can nod along in agreement with me).  Hear me out, ladies...

There are going to be times where you think why am I still doing this.  I felt that way in the beginning and I feel that way on at least a weekly basis as I look at the results of my pumping sessions and think seriously, all that work for this...

I know there are mams out there who have an oversupply.  To those mamas I say, I'm totally jealous.  I am not one of those moms.  I know I have said in previous posts that we made the decision early on to supplement formula with Isabelle.  I give her as much as I can, and I know anything I have to offer her is good; liquid gold as the say!  It's hard not to compare my little supply to that of the girls I see posting on mom boards with bottles overflowing from the milk they pumped at their morning session.  Yes, I am hard on myself when people post pictures of their overflowing freezer full of milk they have pumped for their little ones.  I had to pat myself on the back the first time I was able to put 3 oz in the freezer.  I currently have about 20 oz stored in the freezer, and I call that an accomplishment for me.  Every day when I put Izzy's milk in the fridge at daycare, I give myself a pep talk as I carefully place her 2 to4 oz bottles of breastmilk on the shelf next to the five bottles of milk with 4 oz each. 

Don't get me wrong, to the mamas who have a freezer full of milk, you rock!  You are a milk pumping rock star!  To the mamas who produce only enough to feed their little one the next day, you are rock stars too!  And, if you are like me and can't produce enough to keep up with your little one, but you are still working away at the pumping game, I feel your pain! 

Breastfeeding is a sacrifice.  Your attention to everything you are ingesting doesn't end the minute your baby is born.  You have to continue to monitor what you eat, drink, and the medications you take.  Yes, you can drink alcohol again (within reason).  Yes, you can eat sushi again (not that it was a huge loss for me when I couldn't).  But, if you get a cold, good luck!  No decongestants for you unless you want to watch your supply disappear overnight.  One of my mommy friends pointed out last week this was something they forgot to mention to her in her breastfeeding class and she had to learn the hard way.  Thankfully,  the neti pot and saline spray are my friends!  If you do happen to tank your supply because you took some meds you didn't know you shouldn't take or, just because you were sick, remember it will take more than a few days for your supply to come back.  Don't give up mama! 

Another sacrifice... work time.  If you are working, presumably your baby is at daycare, and you will have to pump milk for him/her to drink the next day.  Assuming you are a super fast pumping rock star and can knock it out in 15 minutes per session.  That's still 45 minutes out of your day that you have to make up somewhere.  You can go ahead and add that in to the time you think about getting a workout in or enjoying a peaceful lunch.  Lunch for many is enjoyed while attached to the milking machine.  Fear not, as a breastfeeding mama you become a master multi tasker.  I realize this is also a general mom trait.  Thank goodness for hands free pumping bras.  Hint to all pregnant ladies reading this who plan to breastfeed.. get yourself a hands free pumping bra.  It is worth every penny.

A sacrifice not mentioned in breastfeeding classes at the hospital?  Your relationship with your significant other... as you sit awake at 3 AM while your little one nurses for what feels like the 50th time that night, you try not to shoot daggers out your eyeballs at your partner while he blissfully snores away.  You can't be mad at him because it's not like there is anything he could be doing to help; he doesn't have the magic boob with the good stuff in it.  But, that doesn't mean you can't hate him for getting an uninterrupted nights sleep.  However, God help the man who wakes up the next morning complaining about being tired.  Those daggers we contained the night before might just be launched.

Other things they don't tell you in class, or perhaps don't emphasize enough.... the nipple pain involved.  Granted, it should only be for the first week or first few weeks while your nipples get used to having a tiny human attached to them at all times.  But, for those few weeks... torture.  Maybe it was just me, but I don't think so.  Nipple cream is your friend. A word of caution, it's greasy and will stain your clothes. Yes, I have a few nightshirts that now have grease circles on them.  It's really the least of my worries at this point.  Also, small round ice packs.  Yes, I walked around with them shoved down into my bra many nights those first few weeks.  If you haven't figured it out by now mams to be, your first few weeks as a mommy are anything less than glamorous.  There were a few times those first few weeks that I dug my toes into the carpet as Izzy latched on.  Those would be the moments I wondered how on earth I could continue with the torture.  Luckily, it got better and the nipple pain was a thing of the past.  Until... I cut the nipple shield out cold turkey this last week and forced Izzy to latch without.  Hello nipple pain all over again.  At least it isn't as bad as it was those first few weeks. 

They didn't talk about nipple shields in my breastfeeding class, but that thing was a life saver the first three months of our journey.  There are all kinds of reasons one might need to use one.  The primary reasons being flat or inverted nipples (any dudes still reading this, I gave you fair warning not to be).  I had a love/hate relationship with our nipple shields.  I don't know how many hours of my life I lost searching through blankets on the couch or crawling around looking under furniture to try and find the lost nipple shield.  It's clear, which makes it hard to find if it falls on the floor.  I also had to make sure to have it with me any time we were going to be out long enough that I was going to have to feed Izzy.  Then there were the times the positioning of it wasn't right and Izzy would unlatch and I would get a lap full of milk; those times were not so awesome.  Again, it was super helpful in getting our breastfeeding journey off to a good start, so I can't hate it too much.

We could get into a discussion about the panic that ensues when your baby needs to eat and you are out in public frantically trying to find a place to nurse, but I will leave that discussion for another day.  I will end by saying that while breastfeeding is beautiful and the bonding time is amazing, it doesn't come without struggle.  Just know in your moments of struggle that you are not alone.  Don't be afraid to reach out to other mamas who have been through the same struggles.  They should encourage you to continue on your journey!    

Izzy Turns Three Months Old

I have to be honest, this last month has been a total blur.  Izzy has changed so much in the last month, it's hard to keep track.  The most exciting part of the month was finally having Andrew home on Christmas Eve.  Granted, he returned home sick and tired.  After a week home, he seems to be in better health now and hopefully we can keep it that way for Izzy's sake.  I fought like crazy to stay healthy while he was gone so I wouldn't pass anything along to Izzy.  I told him he couldn't come home if he was just going to get us all sick (I was kidding of course). 

Izzy is now "talking" to us on a pretty regular basis.  By talking, I mean making noises other than crying.  She shrieks and coos and blows bubbles.  I never thought blowing bubbles would be so cute, but clearly as a parent you think everything your child does at this age is amazing and cute!  Andrew thinks we have a loud one on our hands.  I told him it might be a little early to start talking to her about using an inside voice.  I'm not sure she would grasp the concept.  She is just exploring her voice and loud is the best way to do it.

She loves to interact with her play mat.  When we first put her on it about a month ago, I'm not sure she knew what to think.  It's nice to be able to put her down for a few minutes while I eat dinner or fold some laundry and have her be able to entertain herself.  She is starting to reach out for toys and loves to look at herself in mirrors.  Her feet are on the go constantly.  Watching her feet makes me laugh.  I remember my grandma telling me when I was little I used to bang my feet against the highchair so hard, she wasn't sure how I didn't hurt my heels.  I see Izzy doing the same thing.  She loves to have her socks off so she can move her toes all over.  We have also discovered she isn't a huge fan of pants.  If she is fussy and nothing seems to work to calm her down, I take her pants off and she is a happy camper!  If that keeps up, we could be in for some fun when she is a toddler...

This month we got to celebrate Izzy's first Christmas.  If it's possible to spoil a three month old, she was spoiled!  I really don't think this child is in danger of being naked or going without toys.  She is still pretty firmly in 3 month clothes; at least in two piece outfits.  She is growing out of some of the 0-3 month things she has.  Mostly length is the issue for her.  She is about to the end of her days with the three month one piece outfits.  Too many hard kicks and she would probably pop through the bottoms of a few of them!  Luckily, we have some awesome family who loaded her up with six month sleep and play outfits for Christmas, so she should be set!  Those sleep and play outfits are a life saver when it comes to daycare.  It means no lost socks, and no pants, which makes Izzy happy!

We are finally making our way out of size one diapers.  I'm trying to use up the rest of what we have, but I feel like I'm racing the clock on that venture.  She is growing out of them quickly.  We found out last week that our daycare is going to start providing diapers and wipes after the first of the year, so that will cut back on the number of diapers we have to buy (total score).  Although, I do have to brag about the mega box of Huggies diapers I found on clearance at Target last week.  It was a $25 box of diapers for $8.  I kind of felt like I was stealing them.

This week I had to move Izzy out of the swaddle sacks we had been putting her in at night.  Again, the length thing.  She was kicking and popping open the snaps at the shoulders of the sleep sacks.  She has always fought to get her hands out, but I found her with her hands out of the sleep sacks and the fabric all over the place.  I decided it just wasn't safe any more.  The last few nights I have been putting her in a fleece sleep bag, like this one:

I still swaddle her arms with a blanket, so she doesn't startle herself awake.  It also helps her go to sleep faster at night when I corral her arms.  So far, that seems to be going well.  Once she starts to roll over on her own, which I'm guessing isn't too far out, we won't be able to swaddle her arms at night. She is still sleeping in the bassinet in our room for now.  I think we are probably going to have to look at transitioning her to her crib here before too long. She is pretty much end to end in the bassinet.

As the picture above says, Miss Izzy is working on her first tooth.  She has had a little white dot on her lower gum for a couple of weeks now.  She has been drooling up a storm and as you can tell from the photo, she loves to have her hands in her mouth.  We have started putting bibs on her so she doesn't soak her shirts with slobber.  We have tried giving her frozen teething toys a couple of times, but she isn't sure what to think about those yet. She does love to chew on her bottles though.  At this point, I just roll with whatever works for her.  She still isn't a huge fan of pacifiers.  Sometimes she will take them and sometimes she wants nothing to do with them.  This is all part of her developing personality! 

Some days, it doesn't feel like it's rainbows and sunshine over here.  But, on the days when it seems like the walls might fall down, there is laundry all over the place, dishes piled up in the sink and I haven't taken a shower in two or three days, this face makes it all worth it.  I have had my moments over the past few months where I questioned my own sanity when thinking I was cut out for parenthood; just being honest.  Of course, these moments typically happen at 2 AM when she doesn't want to go back to sleep after a feeding.  Sleep deprivation never did look good on me.  I joked with a friend of mine this past week after seeing a four week old baby in Buy Buy Baby that I missed Izzy being that little.  While I do, I also enjoy her being able to entertain herself for a few minutes!  I appreciate that she now typically only wakes up once in the night and within thirty minutes she is back to sleep.  I also appreciate that she is now able to soothe herself to sleep in some manner so I don't have to get her back into a deep sleep and then tip toe across the room with her to put her back in her bassinet all while holding my breath and hoping the action of putting her back down doesn't wake her up so we have to start the whole process over!  That being said, I do miss being pregnant with miss Izzy.  I didn't appreciate my pregnancy until it was over, and that is something I regret.  I get a twinge of jealousy when I see the pregnant ladies out and about these days.  But, this proud mama loves having my bundle on the outside too!

Christmas Preparations

How is it seriously the week of Christmas already?  Wasn't it just summer?  Getting in the Christmas spirit has been hard this year with Andrew being gone and minimal sleep, but I'm trying to feel a little more jolly this week.  Andrew will be home from his December tour of the country courtesy of UPS in a few short days, so that always lifts my mood.  You don't realize how much you rely on the extra set of hands until you don't have them around.  Luckily, both our parents live close and have been a HUGE help.  As in I would have lost my mind this month had it not been for them.

Had it not been for my parents, I'm pretty sure our Christmas tree would still be sitting in the middle of the living room in pieces and I would have no Christmas decorations up.  Granted, that would not be the end of the world.  They have also provided me with countless meals over the last several weeks and even months since Izzy was born.  Andrew's parents have watched Izzy while I ran to the grocery store and ran to the airport to pick Andrew up or drop him off to get a rental car.  With the weather getting colder, I try not to haul her out and about any more than I have to.   I appreciate the help more than I will ever be able to put into words.

Last weekend, Izzy, Buddy, Maya and I had a sleep over at my parents house.  I wasn't really up for sitting in our house alone all weekend.  Plus, I wanted to do some baking for Christmas and I knew that wasn't going to happen if I was trying to do it on my own at home.  Buddy got himself a new bed out of the deal; he is totally spoiled at grandma and grandpa's house too!

Maya enjoyed having new things to sniff, but she kept walking to the door expecting Andrew to walk in.  Unfortunately, these last couple of weeks, we have been dealing with a recurrence of Buddy's neck pain.  Last Saturday morning he was fine and when I came home later in the day, I could tell he was in pain.  I was able to get him in to see the vet the next day and get him started on meds.  He hasn't been as bad this time around as he was last time, so I think by catching it early we were able to keep his pain from getting too severe.  He has also been back to get a couple of acupuncture treatments.  Hopefully this will all be a distant memory again soon.  He had been doing so well for about six months.  Poor guy, I don't think the cold weather helped matters at all.

Izzy has been growing like crazy and changing daily.  She is starting to interact with toys now, which is fun to watch.  She smiles when you talk to her, and I love hearing the start of her laughter!  For the most part, she is a pretty happy girl.  We have been dealing with a little bit of a snotty nose that she got when she started daycare, but we have been able to keep if from turning into anything major.  Thank goodness for the Zarbees chest run and vitamins with immune support!

As you can see, she hasn't lost the crazy hair.  It's getting a little longer, so it will stay down with some effort.  Clearly it wasn't cooperating in this picture!

As I said in my last post, we had family photos back in November.  Since there were are first professional photos since our wedding photos five years ago, I have been busy working on getting a few of them printed out.  I'm amazed at how much she has changed over the last twelve weeks.  We were out at a restaurant this weekend and saw a tiny new baby.  I told my parents I don't remember Izzy being that small.  They assure me she was!  Here are a few more of my favorite photos from our November family session with Katie Lindgren.  

I can't get over how adorable this photo is!

 

 Those eyes.... that hair!  

Two Months Old

This past weekend, Izzy turned two months old.  She will actually be 10 weeks old this coming Tuesday.  Where is the time going?  In the moment, it feels like time is dragging on between rushing to get as much done as possible while she is napping, enjoying the time she is awake watching her discover so many new things, and trying to keep the house from looking like a tornado went through it.  When I realize she is only ten weeks old, the day she was born already seems like forever ago. 

These past few weeks have been pretty major for us.  We, of course, celebrated Izzy's first Thanksgiving. 

Andrew and I did a little black Friday shopping while Izzy stayed with Grandma and Grandpa.  I think we were in and out of all our stores within two hours.  In all honesty, we got everything on our list, we didn't have to wait in any long lines, and people were actually in pretty good spirits.  There was one item we wanted at Best Buy, but I wasn't about to stand in a line wrapping from the front to the back of the store.  So, I went online and bought it and then picked it up in the store during the day on Friday rather than Thursday night.  I was in and out in under ten minutes.  We did our traditional Target run on Thursday night and found a few good deals there as well.  Amazon was probably my go to this year; love me some Amazon Prime!  Needless to say, it's been like Christmas every day at our house this week with the boxes stacked on our front porch.  Another bonus to working from home is being able to get the boxes as soon as they come so they aren't sitting out there all day.   






The weekend prior to Thanksgiving, we got together with many of the ladies in my family for my baby shower.  We had such a good time and loved seeing everyone! Luckily, Izzy was cooperative that day and was enjoying all the snuggles and love she was getting.  When I was putting away all of the wonderful gifts she received, it was clear this child will not go naked.  I think she probably has more clothes than I do.  In fairness, she has about six different sizes in her closet at the moment. 

This past Monday was my first day back to work full time.  It was also the first day Izzy had to go to daycare. Yes, it was a sad day in our house; I cried a few times.  I didn't actually cry at daycare though; I kept it together until I was home.  We really are happy with our choice of daycare, which makes it a little easier to drop her off in the mornings.  She did great her first week, minus the two blowouts she has had!  Sadly, we finished off the first week of daycare with a cold.  Poor little girl has a snotty nose and a little bit of a cough from time to time.  Luckily, she actually smiles at me when I suction out her nose, which makes life a little easier.  Bring on the saline spray and extra snuggles!   

Here is Izzy after getting home from her first successful day at daycare.  

We had our big two month checkup this week as well.  Miss Isabelle is weighing in at 12 lbs 10 oz and is 24.5 inches long.  She is in the 86th percentile for her weight and 97th for her height.  Her next appointment will be at the end of January when she turns four months old.  I can't wait to see how she grows and changes between now and then!  

Little miss is quite busy these days.  She is smiling at us more and more.  She is discovering her voice and loves to talk to me while I'm getting her dressed in the morning and when we are getting ready for bed at night.  She is still in size 1 diapers, but not for long.  I think that's probably why we have had a few blowouts at daycare this week.  A few weeks ago, I thought we should probably start to transition her to size 2 diapers, and now it is clear size 1's aren't working any more.  However, I'm determined to finish up all the size 1's we have. 

She is still in 0-3 month and 3 month clothing, which is good because she has quite the wardrobe to pick from at the moment.  I have a harder time getting her dressed these days than I do myself.  She has way too many adorable options!  I have to enjoy it while I can because I know in the blink of an eye she will want me having nothing to do with her wardrobe choices.

Now that we have turned the calendar over to December, we are looking forward to Christmas.  We got the tree put up this week thanks to the help of my wonderful parents.  We have officially started peak season for Andrew at work, which means we wont see much of him this month. He will spend the next three weeks on the road, which will be hard for all of us.  We should have him home on Christmas Eve.  It's easy to feel down about him being gone, especially with Izzy being so little and the responsibilities of the house falling to me while he is away.  However, I try to frequently remind myself that there are people whose situations are much worse and who don't see their loved ones for months or even years on end.  For now, we will make the most of our situation and find things to keep us busy.  I hope to get a little baking in before the holiday, but we will see if little miss cooperates with that plan.  I know this month is going to fly by! 

Back in early November, we had family photos taken.  We got our photos back this week, and I love them all!  I have gone through them twenty times already trying to decide which ones we will use for Christmas cards this year.  I'm in the process of downloading them onto my computer, but I will share a few I pulled off on my phone.

Our photos were taken by Katie Lindgren, and she did a wonderful job!  I already told her to save some time next September to do Izzy's 1st birthday photos, but I can't even think about that at the moment.  We have nine and a half more months to enjoy first!
 

A Day In the Life Of...

I'm clearly not keeping up with the weekly update pattern I established while pregnant.  I look back on those days and wonder what I did with all my free time.  I thought I was busy then... silly.  I really had no idea what was to come.  When you have a child who doesn't want to nap unless you are holding her, it doesn't help me get things crossed off my to do list.  When I do get a minute to step away, it's usually to get something to eat.  I can't complain though; baby snuggles make it all better!

There are days I'm not sure I will ever make it through this phase, and then there are days where I feel like I actually have everything under control.  Wednesday this week, I was able to take little miss out for a cupcake (I had the cupcake, she didn't), shopping for a new headband, and visiting a few of the ladies at Kirklands, and on a walk with the dogs! She was an angel and slept through most of it.  At the end of the day, I felt like I was totally nailing this whole being a mommy thing.  Yesterday, I was finally able to get her to take a three hour nap about 5:30 PM.  I guess she thought thirty minute cat naps were fine for the rest of the day.  At the end of the day, I felt like a total failure at the mommy game. 

Luckily, we are doing better with sleeping at night.  Once I figured out swaddling her with her arms tucked in helped her sleep even though she initially fights me on it, we all slept better.  Two nights ago we put her down at 10:30 and she didn't wake up until 6:00.  I had to do a double take at the clock when she woke up!  Last night, we got her down about 10:30 and she slept until 4:00.  When she wakes up, she is up for anywhere between 45 minutes to an hour and then goes back down for a few hours. 

These last few weeks have been increasingly busy with my return to work.  Right now, I'm working in the mornings until after Thanksgiving.  Because Andrew's schedule is flexible, he has been able to watch Izzy in the mornings while I'm working.  She will go to daycare for the first time after Thanksgiving; I'm really not ready for that yet. 

Miss Izzy has changed a lot the last few weeks.  She is more alert and enjoys checking out her surroundings.  She smiles at us now, and is starting to laugh.  Guys, my heart explodes when she smiles at me.  There are moments when I wonder what we got ourselves into.  There are other moments when I'm not totally in love with being a mommy, or feel like I wasn't cut out for the job.  But, when this little girl smiles and laughs, I feel like everything is going to be alright. Growing up, I had friends who wanted nothing more than to be a mommy; I never felt that calling.  However, I knew if I didn't, I would always feel like I was missing out on something precious.  I know in time I will fall into this whole mom thing.  For now, there are days it is hard to see past the number of diapers, ounces per bottle and length of naps and that is OK.   

When we weighed Izzy last week, she was up to 11 lbs and 4 ounces.  I know she is getting longer too, but we won't find out exactly how long until her two month appointment in a few weeks.  She is now completely out of newborn sizes (sad day) and is wearing a combination of 0-3 month and 3 month clothes.  She is still in size one diapers, but I suspect she will be out of those shortly.  We are still doing a combination of breastfeeding and formula.  No, it's not how I imagined things would go.  But, it's what works for us and means we have a happy baby.  At this point, we take it one day at a time. I have my goals; 3 months, 6 months, 9 months and 1 year.  I have made it over half way to my first breastfeeding goal of three months.  Again, you do what you can and try not to tear yourself apart about it not being how you imagined.  There are a lot of people who will tell you how you "should" do things.  Sometimes, you have to tune those people out. 

This next few weeks are going to busy.  We have our family shower this weekend.  We celebrate Thanksgiving next week; Izzy might even get to experience a little Black Friday shopping!  Izzy starts daycare in a little over a week, and she has her two month check up at the end of the month.  Time is seriously flying!  

We Made It a Whole Month

I clearly underestimated just how time consuming life with a newborn is.  Most days, my biggest accomplishment is taking a shower.  It's a bonus if I also get three meals in the same day at relatively normal times.  We were lucky enough to have Andrew stay home with us for the first two weeks after Isabelle was born.  The start of week three meant we had to send him back off to work. Even when he wasn't really "doing" anything, it was a huge help for me having him around and having that emotional support. The first day he left to go back to work I was scared out of my mind.  I had flashbacks to the day after we brought Buddy home when Andrew left for work and I sat there looking at Buddy wondering what we had done and why anyone trusted me with the total care of another.

I have lost track of the number of episodes of random shows I have watched on Netflix over the past five weeks. Yes, I'm sure that sounds like a glorious vacation to some. Honestly, I'm not sure how many of those episodes I actually remember. I can't seem to stay awake for more than two episodes at a time and usually find myself nodding off on the couch multiple times throughout the day.  Luckily, I can count on the dogs barking at someone outside to wake me up!  There have been many days I sat on the couch  thinking of my "to-do" list, and the list of things I thought I was going to get done on maternity leave. Note to self if we decide to have another... don't make a list of things to do while on maternity leave. Most days my internal debate is if I should eat breakfast while Isabelle is down for a nap, clean up the kitchen, start a load of laundry, or sit on the couch and pray for sleep to come. Sleep and food usually win out!  Unfortunately, my post-partum recovery was also hindered this last week when I developed shingles. One of the joys of pregnancy and the post-partum period is a compromised immune system; prime time for shingles to develop. Since we have a newborn in the house, I didn't take the wait it out approach I normally do.  I went to the doctor to confirm my suspicion and was placed on a week long dose of medications.  I think we are safely out of the woods on Isabelle coming down with chicken pox from my case of the shingles. 

This week, I have been thinking a lot about my return to work, which is coming up next week.  I'm sad that my time at home with Isabelle is coming to an end. However, I'm a little excited about returning to work. As I told Andrew last week, my work gives me a sense of purpose. Frankly, these last five weeks, I have felt a little lost. I'm in the midst of trying to figure out this new role of mommy and how that fits in with my identity as I have come to know it over the past 29 years.  I hope this next week, once a few of my normal activities such as working and going to the gym return to my life, I start to adjust to my new normal. 

It's hard to believe our little lady already turned one month old. I remember when we were in the hospital and we were debating getting newborn pictures taken. Both our parents encouraged us to get them taken and said in even one month she would change so much that we would like having those pictures to look back on.  This last week as I worked on birth announcements, I realized just how true that statement was. She has already changed so much.   We used up the last newborn sized diaper today, and I was a little sad knowing that she fit them so perfectly when we brought her home from the hospital.  

Since most people ask the all important question about sleep; no, she is not sleeping through the night. She typically wakes up one to two times during the night. Bedtime still is a struggle most nights. One night she will go down at 11:00 with no issue, and the next night she really doesn't go to sleep until 1 or 2 in the morning. I haven't quite figured out how that is going to work when I go back to work next week. I can't function on four hours of sleep. 

Other than the sleeping thing, she really is a great baby. She has started to smile and "talk" to us, which I love. She is doing great holding her head up. She doesn't seem to hate tummy time. She typically loves bath time, although I think she likes bath time when daddy gives the bath way more than when mommy does. She has pretty much outgrown newborn clothes and has now moved up to 0 to 3 month clothing. For one piece outfits, she is actually in three month outfits and even some of those are a bit too short for her.  There were some tears this week as I packed away several newborn outfits and brought out more of her three month clothing.  She is already growing so fast!  

This coming week, I go in for my six week follow up with the midwives.  It's strange that I haven't seen then for six weeks.  I got used to seeing them every other week and then every week.  I hope to get the all clear to get back into the gym.  I have been trying to take the dogs on walks around the neighborhood, but I'm also ready to get back into more of the structured workout.  Walking two beagles doesn't provide the most consistent walking pace.  Also coming up for us are family photos; fingers crossed little miss cooperates!