Izzy Turns Three Months Old

I have to be honest, this last month has been a total blur.  Izzy has changed so much in the last month, it's hard to keep track.  The most exciting part of the month was finally having Andrew home on Christmas Eve.  Granted, he returned home sick and tired.  After a week home, he seems to be in better health now and hopefully we can keep it that way for Izzy's sake.  I fought like crazy to stay healthy while he was gone so I wouldn't pass anything along to Izzy.  I told him he couldn't come home if he was just going to get us all sick (I was kidding of course). 

Izzy is now "talking" to us on a pretty regular basis.  By talking, I mean making noises other than crying.  She shrieks and coos and blows bubbles.  I never thought blowing bubbles would be so cute, but clearly as a parent you think everything your child does at this age is amazing and cute!  Andrew thinks we have a loud one on our hands.  I told him it might be a little early to start talking to her about using an inside voice.  I'm not sure she would grasp the concept.  She is just exploring her voice and loud is the best way to do it.

She loves to interact with her play mat.  When we first put her on it about a month ago, I'm not sure she knew what to think.  It's nice to be able to put her down for a few minutes while I eat dinner or fold some laundry and have her be able to entertain herself.  She is starting to reach out for toys and loves to look at herself in mirrors.  Her feet are on the go constantly.  Watching her feet makes me laugh.  I remember my grandma telling me when I was little I used to bang my feet against the highchair so hard, she wasn't sure how I didn't hurt my heels.  I see Izzy doing the same thing.  She loves to have her socks off so she can move her toes all over.  We have also discovered she isn't a huge fan of pants.  If she is fussy and nothing seems to work to calm her down, I take her pants off and she is a happy camper!  If that keeps up, we could be in for some fun when she is a toddler...

This month we got to celebrate Izzy's first Christmas.  If it's possible to spoil a three month old, she was spoiled!  I really don't think this child is in danger of being naked or going without toys.  She is still pretty firmly in 3 month clothes; at least in two piece outfits.  She is growing out of some of the 0-3 month things she has.  Mostly length is the issue for her.  She is about to the end of her days with the three month one piece outfits.  Too many hard kicks and she would probably pop through the bottoms of a few of them!  Luckily, we have some awesome family who loaded her up with six month sleep and play outfits for Christmas, so she should be set!  Those sleep and play outfits are a life saver when it comes to daycare.  It means no lost socks, and no pants, which makes Izzy happy!

We are finally making our way out of size one diapers.  I'm trying to use up the rest of what we have, but I feel like I'm racing the clock on that venture.  She is growing out of them quickly.  We found out last week that our daycare is going to start providing diapers and wipes after the first of the year, so that will cut back on the number of diapers we have to buy (total score).  Although, I do have to brag about the mega box of Huggies diapers I found on clearance at Target last week.  It was a $25 box of diapers for $8.  I kind of felt like I was stealing them.

This week I had to move Izzy out of the swaddle sacks we had been putting her in at night.  Again, the length thing.  She was kicking and popping open the snaps at the shoulders of the sleep sacks.  She has always fought to get her hands out, but I found her with her hands out of the sleep sacks and the fabric all over the place.  I decided it just wasn't safe any more.  The last few nights I have been putting her in a fleece sleep bag, like this one:

I still swaddle her arms with a blanket, so she doesn't startle herself awake.  It also helps her go to sleep faster at night when I corral her arms.  So far, that seems to be going well.  Once she starts to roll over on her own, which I'm guessing isn't too far out, we won't be able to swaddle her arms at night. She is still sleeping in the bassinet in our room for now.  I think we are probably going to have to look at transitioning her to her crib here before too long. She is pretty much end to end in the bassinet.

As the picture above says, Miss Izzy is working on her first tooth.  She has had a little white dot on her lower gum for a couple of weeks now.  She has been drooling up a storm and as you can tell from the photo, she loves to have her hands in her mouth.  We have started putting bibs on her so she doesn't soak her shirts with slobber.  We have tried giving her frozen teething toys a couple of times, but she isn't sure what to think about those yet. She does love to chew on her bottles though.  At this point, I just roll with whatever works for her.  She still isn't a huge fan of pacifiers.  Sometimes she will take them and sometimes she wants nothing to do with them.  This is all part of her developing personality! 

Some days, it doesn't feel like it's rainbows and sunshine over here.  But, on the days when it seems like the walls might fall down, there is laundry all over the place, dishes piled up in the sink and I haven't taken a shower in two or three days, this face makes it all worth it.  I have had my moments over the past few months where I questioned my own sanity when thinking I was cut out for parenthood; just being honest.  Of course, these moments typically happen at 2 AM when she doesn't want to go back to sleep after a feeding.  Sleep deprivation never did look good on me.  I joked with a friend of mine this past week after seeing a four week old baby in Buy Buy Baby that I missed Izzy being that little.  While I do, I also enjoy her being able to entertain herself for a few minutes!  I appreciate that she now typically only wakes up once in the night and within thirty minutes she is back to sleep.  I also appreciate that she is now able to soothe herself to sleep in some manner so I don't have to get her back into a deep sleep and then tip toe across the room with her to put her back in her bassinet all while holding my breath and hoping the action of putting her back down doesn't wake her up so we have to start the whole process over!  That being said, I do miss being pregnant with miss Izzy.  I didn't appreciate my pregnancy until it was over, and that is something I regret.  I get a twinge of jealousy when I see the pregnant ladies out and about these days.  But, this proud mama loves having my bundle on the outside too!

Christmas Preparations

How is it seriously the week of Christmas already?  Wasn't it just summer?  Getting in the Christmas spirit has been hard this year with Andrew being gone and minimal sleep, but I'm trying to feel a little more jolly this week.  Andrew will be home from his December tour of the country courtesy of UPS in a few short days, so that always lifts my mood.  You don't realize how much you rely on the extra set of hands until you don't have them around.  Luckily, both our parents live close and have been a HUGE help.  As in I would have lost my mind this month had it not been for them.

Had it not been for my parents, I'm pretty sure our Christmas tree would still be sitting in the middle of the living room in pieces and I would have no Christmas decorations up.  Granted, that would not be the end of the world.  They have also provided me with countless meals over the last several weeks and even months since Izzy was born.  Andrew's parents have watched Izzy while I ran to the grocery store and ran to the airport to pick Andrew up or drop him off to get a rental car.  With the weather getting colder, I try not to haul her out and about any more than I have to.   I appreciate the help more than I will ever be able to put into words.

Last weekend, Izzy, Buddy, Maya and I had a sleep over at my parents house.  I wasn't really up for sitting in our house alone all weekend.  Plus, I wanted to do some baking for Christmas and I knew that wasn't going to happen if I was trying to do it on my own at home.  Buddy got himself a new bed out of the deal; he is totally spoiled at grandma and grandpa's house too!

Maya enjoyed having new things to sniff, but she kept walking to the door expecting Andrew to walk in.  Unfortunately, these last couple of weeks, we have been dealing with a recurrence of Buddy's neck pain.  Last Saturday morning he was fine and when I came home later in the day, I could tell he was in pain.  I was able to get him in to see the vet the next day and get him started on meds.  He hasn't been as bad this time around as he was last time, so I think by catching it early we were able to keep his pain from getting too severe.  He has also been back to get a couple of acupuncture treatments.  Hopefully this will all be a distant memory again soon.  He had been doing so well for about six months.  Poor guy, I don't think the cold weather helped matters at all.

Izzy has been growing like crazy and changing daily.  She is starting to interact with toys now, which is fun to watch.  She smiles when you talk to her, and I love hearing the start of her laughter!  For the most part, she is a pretty happy girl.  We have been dealing with a little bit of a snotty nose that she got when she started daycare, but we have been able to keep if from turning into anything major.  Thank goodness for the Zarbees chest run and vitamins with immune support!

As you can see, she hasn't lost the crazy hair.  It's getting a little longer, so it will stay down with some effort.  Clearly it wasn't cooperating in this picture!

As I said in my last post, we had family photos back in November.  Since there were are first professional photos since our wedding photos five years ago, I have been busy working on getting a few of them printed out.  I'm amazed at how much she has changed over the last twelve weeks.  We were out at a restaurant this weekend and saw a tiny new baby.  I told my parents I don't remember Izzy being that small.  They assure me she was!  Here are a few more of my favorite photos from our November family session with Katie Lindgren.  

I can't get over how adorable this photo is!

 

 Those eyes.... that hair!  

Two Months Old

This past weekend, Izzy turned two months old.  She will actually be 10 weeks old this coming Tuesday.  Where is the time going?  In the moment, it feels like time is dragging on between rushing to get as much done as possible while she is napping, enjoying the time she is awake watching her discover so many new things, and trying to keep the house from looking like a tornado went through it.  When I realize she is only ten weeks old, the day she was born already seems like forever ago. 

These past few weeks have been pretty major for us.  We, of course, celebrated Izzy's first Thanksgiving. 

Andrew and I did a little black Friday shopping while Izzy stayed with Grandma and Grandpa.  I think we were in and out of all our stores within two hours.  In all honesty, we got everything on our list, we didn't have to wait in any long lines, and people were actually in pretty good spirits.  There was one item we wanted at Best Buy, but I wasn't about to stand in a line wrapping from the front to the back of the store.  So, I went online and bought it and then picked it up in the store during the day on Friday rather than Thursday night.  I was in and out in under ten minutes.  We did our traditional Target run on Thursday night and found a few good deals there as well.  Amazon was probably my go to this year; love me some Amazon Prime!  Needless to say, it's been like Christmas every day at our house this week with the boxes stacked on our front porch.  Another bonus to working from home is being able to get the boxes as soon as they come so they aren't sitting out there all day.   






The weekend prior to Thanksgiving, we got together with many of the ladies in my family for my baby shower.  We had such a good time and loved seeing everyone! Luckily, Izzy was cooperative that day and was enjoying all the snuggles and love she was getting.  When I was putting away all of the wonderful gifts she received, it was clear this child will not go naked.  I think she probably has more clothes than I do.  In fairness, she has about six different sizes in her closet at the moment. 

This past Monday was my first day back to work full time.  It was also the first day Izzy had to go to daycare. Yes, it was a sad day in our house; I cried a few times.  I didn't actually cry at daycare though; I kept it together until I was home.  We really are happy with our choice of daycare, which makes it a little easier to drop her off in the mornings.  She did great her first week, minus the two blowouts she has had!  Sadly, we finished off the first week of daycare with a cold.  Poor little girl has a snotty nose and a little bit of a cough from time to time.  Luckily, she actually smiles at me when I suction out her nose, which makes life a little easier.  Bring on the saline spray and extra snuggles!   

Here is Izzy after getting home from her first successful day at daycare.  

We had our big two month checkup this week as well.  Miss Isabelle is weighing in at 12 lbs 10 oz and is 24.5 inches long.  She is in the 86th percentile for her weight and 97th for her height.  Her next appointment will be at the end of January when she turns four months old.  I can't wait to see how she grows and changes between now and then!  

Little miss is quite busy these days.  She is smiling at us more and more.  She is discovering her voice and loves to talk to me while I'm getting her dressed in the morning and when we are getting ready for bed at night.  She is still in size 1 diapers, but not for long.  I think that's probably why we have had a few blowouts at daycare this week.  A few weeks ago, I thought we should probably start to transition her to size 2 diapers, and now it is clear size 1's aren't working any more.  However, I'm determined to finish up all the size 1's we have. 

She is still in 0-3 month and 3 month clothing, which is good because she has quite the wardrobe to pick from at the moment.  I have a harder time getting her dressed these days than I do myself.  She has way too many adorable options!  I have to enjoy it while I can because I know in the blink of an eye she will want me having nothing to do with her wardrobe choices.

Now that we have turned the calendar over to December, we are looking forward to Christmas.  We got the tree put up this week thanks to the help of my wonderful parents.  We have officially started peak season for Andrew at work, which means we wont see much of him this month. He will spend the next three weeks on the road, which will be hard for all of us.  We should have him home on Christmas Eve.  It's easy to feel down about him being gone, especially with Izzy being so little and the responsibilities of the house falling to me while he is away.  However, I try to frequently remind myself that there are people whose situations are much worse and who don't see their loved ones for months or even years on end.  For now, we will make the most of our situation and find things to keep us busy.  I hope to get a little baking in before the holiday, but we will see if little miss cooperates with that plan.  I know this month is going to fly by! 

Back in early November, we had family photos taken.  We got our photos back this week, and I love them all!  I have gone through them twenty times already trying to decide which ones we will use for Christmas cards this year.  I'm in the process of downloading them onto my computer, but I will share a few I pulled off on my phone.

Our photos were taken by Katie Lindgren, and she did a wonderful job!  I already told her to save some time next September to do Izzy's 1st birthday photos, but I can't even think about that at the moment.  We have nine and a half more months to enjoy first!
 

A Day In the Life Of...

I'm clearly not keeping up with the weekly update pattern I established while pregnant.  I look back on those days and wonder what I did with all my free time.  I thought I was busy then... silly.  I really had no idea what was to come.  When you have a child who doesn't want to nap unless you are holding her, it doesn't help me get things crossed off my to do list.  When I do get a minute to step away, it's usually to get something to eat.  I can't complain though; baby snuggles make it all better!

There are days I'm not sure I will ever make it through this phase, and then there are days where I feel like I actually have everything under control.  Wednesday this week, I was able to take little miss out for a cupcake (I had the cupcake, she didn't), shopping for a new headband, and visiting a few of the ladies at Kirklands, and on a walk with the dogs! She was an angel and slept through most of it.  At the end of the day, I felt like I was totally nailing this whole being a mommy thing.  Yesterday, I was finally able to get her to take a three hour nap about 5:30 PM.  I guess she thought thirty minute cat naps were fine for the rest of the day.  At the end of the day, I felt like a total failure at the mommy game. 

Luckily, we are doing better with sleeping at night.  Once I figured out swaddling her with her arms tucked in helped her sleep even though she initially fights me on it, we all slept better.  Two nights ago we put her down at 10:30 and she didn't wake up until 6:00.  I had to do a double take at the clock when she woke up!  Last night, we got her down about 10:30 and she slept until 4:00.  When she wakes up, she is up for anywhere between 45 minutes to an hour and then goes back down for a few hours. 

These last few weeks have been increasingly busy with my return to work.  Right now, I'm working in the mornings until after Thanksgiving.  Because Andrew's schedule is flexible, he has been able to watch Izzy in the mornings while I'm working.  She will go to daycare for the first time after Thanksgiving; I'm really not ready for that yet. 

Miss Izzy has changed a lot the last few weeks.  She is more alert and enjoys checking out her surroundings.  She smiles at us now, and is starting to laugh.  Guys, my heart explodes when she smiles at me.  There are moments when I wonder what we got ourselves into.  There are other moments when I'm not totally in love with being a mommy, or feel like I wasn't cut out for the job.  But, when this little girl smiles and laughs, I feel like everything is going to be alright. Growing up, I had friends who wanted nothing more than to be a mommy; I never felt that calling.  However, I knew if I didn't, I would always feel like I was missing out on something precious.  I know in time I will fall into this whole mom thing.  For now, there are days it is hard to see past the number of diapers, ounces per bottle and length of naps and that is OK.   

When we weighed Izzy last week, she was up to 11 lbs and 4 ounces.  I know she is getting longer too, but we won't find out exactly how long until her two month appointment in a few weeks.  She is now completely out of newborn sizes (sad day) and is wearing a combination of 0-3 month and 3 month clothes.  She is still in size one diapers, but I suspect she will be out of those shortly.  We are still doing a combination of breastfeeding and formula.  No, it's not how I imagined things would go.  But, it's what works for us and means we have a happy baby.  At this point, we take it one day at a time. I have my goals; 3 months, 6 months, 9 months and 1 year.  I have made it over half way to my first breastfeeding goal of three months.  Again, you do what you can and try not to tear yourself apart about it not being how you imagined.  There are a lot of people who will tell you how you "should" do things.  Sometimes, you have to tune those people out. 

This next few weeks are going to busy.  We have our family shower this weekend.  We celebrate Thanksgiving next week; Izzy might even get to experience a little Black Friday shopping!  Izzy starts daycare in a little over a week, and she has her two month check up at the end of the month.  Time is seriously flying!  

We Made It a Whole Month

I clearly underestimated just how time consuming life with a newborn is.  Most days, my biggest accomplishment is taking a shower.  It's a bonus if I also get three meals in the same day at relatively normal times.  We were lucky enough to have Andrew stay home with us for the first two weeks after Isabelle was born.  The start of week three meant we had to send him back off to work. Even when he wasn't really "doing" anything, it was a huge help for me having him around and having that emotional support. The first day he left to go back to work I was scared out of my mind.  I had flashbacks to the day after we brought Buddy home when Andrew left for work and I sat there looking at Buddy wondering what we had done and why anyone trusted me with the total care of another.

I have lost track of the number of episodes of random shows I have watched on Netflix over the past five weeks. Yes, I'm sure that sounds like a glorious vacation to some. Honestly, I'm not sure how many of those episodes I actually remember. I can't seem to stay awake for more than two episodes at a time and usually find myself nodding off on the couch multiple times throughout the day.  Luckily, I can count on the dogs barking at someone outside to wake me up!  There have been many days I sat on the couch  thinking of my "to-do" list, and the list of things I thought I was going to get done on maternity leave. Note to self if we decide to have another... don't make a list of things to do while on maternity leave. Most days my internal debate is if I should eat breakfast while Isabelle is down for a nap, clean up the kitchen, start a load of laundry, or sit on the couch and pray for sleep to come. Sleep and food usually win out!  Unfortunately, my post-partum recovery was also hindered this last week when I developed shingles. One of the joys of pregnancy and the post-partum period is a compromised immune system; prime time for shingles to develop. Since we have a newborn in the house, I didn't take the wait it out approach I normally do.  I went to the doctor to confirm my suspicion and was placed on a week long dose of medications.  I think we are safely out of the woods on Isabelle coming down with chicken pox from my case of the shingles. 

This week, I have been thinking a lot about my return to work, which is coming up next week.  I'm sad that my time at home with Isabelle is coming to an end. However, I'm a little excited about returning to work. As I told Andrew last week, my work gives me a sense of purpose. Frankly, these last five weeks, I have felt a little lost. I'm in the midst of trying to figure out this new role of mommy and how that fits in with my identity as I have come to know it over the past 29 years.  I hope this next week, once a few of my normal activities such as working and going to the gym return to my life, I start to adjust to my new normal. 

It's hard to believe our little lady already turned one month old. I remember when we were in the hospital and we were debating getting newborn pictures taken. Both our parents encouraged us to get them taken and said in even one month she would change so much that we would like having those pictures to look back on.  This last week as I worked on birth announcements, I realized just how true that statement was. She has already changed so much.   We used up the last newborn sized diaper today, and I was a little sad knowing that she fit them so perfectly when we brought her home from the hospital.  

Since most people ask the all important question about sleep; no, she is not sleeping through the night. She typically wakes up one to two times during the night. Bedtime still is a struggle most nights. One night she will go down at 11:00 with no issue, and the next night she really doesn't go to sleep until 1 or 2 in the morning. I haven't quite figured out how that is going to work when I go back to work next week. I can't function on four hours of sleep. 

Other than the sleeping thing, she really is a great baby. She has started to smile and "talk" to us, which I love. She is doing great holding her head up. She doesn't seem to hate tummy time. She typically loves bath time, although I think she likes bath time when daddy gives the bath way more than when mommy does. She has pretty much outgrown newborn clothes and has now moved up to 0 to 3 month clothing. For one piece outfits, she is actually in three month outfits and even some of those are a bit too short for her.  There were some tears this week as I packed away several newborn outfits and brought out more of her three month clothing.  She is already growing so fast!  

This coming week, I go in for my six week follow up with the midwives.  It's strange that I haven't seen then for six weeks.  I got used to seeing them every other week and then every week.  I hope to get the all clear to get back into the gym.  I have been trying to take the dogs on walks around the neighborhood, but I'm also ready to get back into more of the structured workout.  Walking two beagles doesn't provide the most consistent walking pace.  Also coming up for us are family photos; fingers crossed little miss cooperates! 

 

 

Welcome To Parenthood: Weeks 1 and 2

We have made it through the first two and a half weeks of parenthood with only a few meltdowns and more than a few tears from multiple members of the household.  Over the past few weeks, we have had a crash course in parenting.  I did a lot of reading before I got pregnant and during my pregnancy, and thought I had most of it figured out.  No amount of research and reading could prepare me for the roller coaster of emotions over the past two weeks.

Of all the lists I combed through on Pinterest before having miss Isabelle, none of them covered a few key things I have now learned and wish I had known ahead of time: 

1.  Your emotions starting on day three or four after delivery are going to be out of control.  It's normal, and it will get better soon.  While I knew my hormones would be all over the place after delivery, I wasn't prepared for the total crash a few days after coming home from the hospital.  While I was in the hospital after having Isabelle, I was riding the high that came with delivery.  Once we were home, a new reality set in.  I cried at the drop of a hat over absolutely nothing, or sometimes it was actually over something.  I was a mess, and poor Andrew had to pick up the pieces more than a few times.  One late night feeding I looked down at our new little bundle and broke down at the thought of sending her off to daycare in six weeks, which is something I never thought I would struggle with.  That's only the tip of the iceberg on things that caused me to cry that first week after delivery.   

2. It's OK if breastfeeding doesn't come naturally and you and/or baby struggle with it.  In all my reading before delivery, I had created a perfect image in my head of our little bundle arriving and instantly having an amazing latch and getting all the nourishment she needed from me.  What I wasn't prepared for was the possibility of supply issues, soreness, issues with latching, or the total dependency breastfeeding creates.  We were sent home from the hospital with some samples of supplementation formula.  While I had every intention of exclusively breastfeeding our beautiful bundle, I wasn't prepared for the potential of not being able to keep up with her needs.  On our second night home as she was screaming, seemingly out of hunger, we caved and broke out a bottle of formula.  After scarfing down two ounces of formula, our bundle passed out.  I spent the next several days hating myself for giving in and giving her formula.  I'm not sure how many times it took Andrew telling me that it was OK and I wasn't a bad mom before I actually believed him.  Luckily, my supply has picked up with the help of some herbal supplements, tea, lactation cookies, oatmeal.... breastfeeding is a job, and I'm still trying to iron out the details of my new job.  For now, we have struck a balance between breastfeeding and supplementing with formula.   

3. Babies don't sleep through the night right away.  Sleeping still isn't something we have mastered just yet.  Someone doesn't like "bedtime".  Most nights, it is a two to three hour process to get her down for the night.  I realize, she is only two weeks old and this will come with time.  This sleep deprived mama hopes this fight will only be for a few more weeks.  Luckily, she is good about waking up every three hours to eat.  It was only a few nights ago that I stopped setting an alarm to wake her up.  I finally realized after two weeks that she wakes up to eat every three hours like clock work.  The nights I was setting an alarm, she was waking up ten minutes before my alarm went off.  The first night I didn't set an alarm, I was worried sick she wouldn't wake up to eat.  Luckily, I can add that to the list of silly things to worry about as a parent since she woke up every three hours like a champ.  Feedings have become a little more efficient now too, so when we do wake up it isn't for two or three hours at a time.  Someone also should have told me that the first and second night home are likely going to be the worst, because they were.  I was up for a four hour stretch with her our first night home because she woke up every time I would try to put her back down in her bassinet.     

4. Take care of yourself.  People told me this before I delivered.  The nurses and midwives told me this after I delivered.  It's true that you are no good to anyone if you don't take care of yourself.  Ask for help.  I hate asking for help, it literally pains me when I can't do things for myself.  However, I knew I needed to be able to let others help me for a few weeks while my body was recovering.  Things are sore after delivery.  I can't spring up of the couch like I used to.  I get tired walking the dogs down to the corner and back.  I have to take a break after folding a load of laundry.  At the end of each day, I have to remind myself this is all OK.   After a week and a half of no driving and being stuck in the house, I asked Andrew to watch Izzy while I ran to Target.  It did a world of good for me to get out of the house even if it was for thirty minutes.  Something about taking a shower, putting on normal underwear rather than the mesh underwear they send you home from the hospital in (don't get me wrong, those things are a total God send), driving, and taking in my first sips of Starbucks espresso in nine months made me feel like a normal human again for a few minutes.  This week, Andrew watched Izzy again for a couple of hours while I went to dinner with my work team.  I know it's these small outings that are going to keep me on track.  I love being a mommy to our little girl, and I love the time I spend with her.  However, I also know I cannot forget about myself either.  I'm eternally grateful for a husband who understands and supports me in my effort to balance being a new mommy with still being me.

 Mommy's first outing post baby - still looking about three months 

pregnant, but I'm ok with that right now.

As for Isabelle, she has had a big couple of weeks.  She had her first few appointments with the doctor, her first trip to Target, watched her first Packers game (she might have slept through most of it), her first solo outing with mommy, and her first time out at a restaurant.  At her two week appointment, she was back up to her birth weight and was happy, healthy, and already growing like a weed.  I see changes in her even over these two short weeks.  She is awake more each day, and I love watching her face as she takes in the world around her.  As I hold her, I remind myself to cherish the quiet moments I get with her now.  I know in the blink of an eye she will outgrow my lap.      

She Has Arrived!

Well, it's a good thing I wrote our 38 week update last Monday night.  Little did I know when I went to bed that night, it was the last night I would be going to sleep pregnant.  After eating a fabulous dinner fixed by Andrew, and watching a few episodes of Law & Order, Andrew headed off to work and I headed off to bed.  I woke up around 1:15 AM to go to the bathroom only to stand up and have my water break.  I was completely caught off guard. Andrew had previously asked me what would happen if my water broke in bed.  I laughed at him and told him most women don't go into labor with their water breaking, so I wasn't going to worry about it.  Let's face it, I was more concerned about my water breaking in the middle of Target or while driving down the interstate.  After texting Andrew and letting him know he might want to let everyone at work know he wouldn't be coming in the next day, I called our midwives to let them know that my water had broken.  

At the time my water broke, I wasn't experiencing any contractions.  My midwives advised me to try and get some rest and let them know around 7:00 AM where I was at with my contractions.  I also let our doula know my water had broken, so she knew we were "on the clock".  Ideally, they like to have baby out no more than 24 hours after your water breaks due to the increased risk of infection.  As a funny aside, the midwife on call when my water broke was the one we had treated with for a majority of my pregnancy.  However, the other midwife, whom we had seen only twice during my entire pregnancy, was the one coming on call at 7:00 that morning and would be the one on call when I delivered.  Andrew and I joked previously that the midwife on call when I went into labor was going to be the one we hadn't treated with as much.  Luckily, we loved both midwives, so we would have been happy with either of them.

By 5:30, I woke up and my contractions had kicked in, but I tried to continue sleeping because I knew I was going to need as much sleep as I could get before the marathon I was about to run.  By 6:30 AM, I couldn't sleep through the contractions, so I got up. I also woke up to find my nausea had kicked in again, but I ate some breakfast and went down to work for a bit to set up my out of office messages.  At that point, it still hadn't sunk in that I was in labor.  Sure, I was having contractions and they weren't exactly comfortable, but my mind hadn't fully processed what was going on or that our baby girl would be in our arms within 24 hours.  Throughout the morning I had been in contact with our doula updating her on my progress.  By 8:00 AM my contractions were consistently 5 minutes apart and lasting around 1 minute.  At 9:00 AM, I thought it was probably time for our doula to come over.  Around that time, I also had a call from the nurse at our midwives office.  We had our normal weekly appointment scheduled for 10:30 that morning, so they wanted us to come in so I could get checked to see where things were at.  Throughout our labor and delivery process, I was amazed by how awesome our midwife group was.  Normally, once the water breaks, we would have been told to go to the hospital right away, but we were encouraged to stay home.  It was also grea that I was able to go to the office to be checked rather than going to the hospital.  

Our doula followed us down to the office in case we were sent straight to the hospital after my appointment.  The car ride down to the clinic was less than enjoyable; contractions in a car are not my idea of a good time.  When I was checked at the clinic, I was about 3 centimeters dilated and 90% effaced.  I was sent home to labor further and advised to check back in with the midwives in the early afternoon.  While I was happy we weren't going to have to labor in the hospital all day, I wasn't thrilled to be getting back in the car.  We arrived back home around 11:30 AM.  I tried to eat some toast and peanut butter for lunch to keep my strength up, but was only able to get down one slice.  My nausea was really taking over at that point, thankfully our doula had peppermint oil on hand; that was the only thing that kept my nausea at bay throughout the day.  Andrew made sure I was drinking fluids after each contraction so I could stay hydrated.  Around 1:30 PM, we decided it might be time to head to the hospital; I guess our midwives thought so too because we had a call on our way down to the hospital to find out how things were going.  Once again, contractions while in a car are terrible.  The whole time we were on our way to the hospital, I kept thinking about our birthing class.  The teacher of the class talked about how most people say one of the things they hate the most about labor is riding in the car.  Thankfully, the ride was only about fifteen minutes.  We got parked and made our way up to the labor and delivery floor with a few stops on our way in for contractions.  I don't remember it sinking in, even at the point we were checking in to the hospital, that I was in labor and our little girl was on her way into the world.  Most of what I remember was operating on what felt like robot mode, trying to coach myself through each contraction and reminding myself to stay calm and breathe.  Luckily, Andrew was also there to remind me of those things.  I think I had myself so convinced I was going to go past my due date I didn't know what to think when it was clear our little lady had other ideas.

I'm not sure if our midwives had talked to the admitting desk prior to our arrival at the hospital, but we were able to bypass triage and go straight to our delivery room.  By the time we got settled into our room and they checked to see if I had progressed, I was seven centimeters dilated.  I couldn't believe I had progressed that much in a relatively short period of time.  While they did monitor her heartbeat from time to time, I wasn't continuously hooked up to machines for monitoring, so I was able to move around the room.  I remember the view from our room looked out over much of downtown, so I spent a lot of time looking out the window breathing through contractions.  They say during labor to find something to focus on; the downtown skyline became my focal point.

As you might recall from my prior posts, our plan going in to labor was for a completely un-medicated birth.  I didn't want so much as an IV in.  Because my strep B test was negative, I was able to get away with not having an IV.  We had a little push back from one of our nurses, but our midwife gave the ok for no IV (just another example of why I am eternally grateful for working with the midwives).  It felt great to have the freedom to move around as I wanted while working through the contractions.  I'm not going to lie, there were a couple of times I questioned my sanity about not wanting pain meds, and seriously thought about asking for some.  However, I reminded myself I had made it that far in the day without medications and my intent was to finish bringing our baby girl into the world without medications.  By 6:30 PM, I had reached 10 cm,  and had the overwhelming urge to push.  I had many people tell me my body would tell me when it was time to push, and they weren't joking.  At that point, it hurt not to push.  While I did all of my pushing in bed, I was able to push in several different positions, which I'm beyond grateful for.

Our birth team was amazing; there is no way I would have made it through without their help.  They held my legs when they felt like two ton bricks and I thought there was no possible way I could hold them up any longer.  They brought me ice and cold compresses when I felt like my body was on fire.  They held me up when it was time to push and my back felt like a knife was going through it.  And when I felt like giving up, they reminded me how far I had come and that our little girl was on her way into the world.  By 8:30, I was tired and wasn't sure I had the energy left to push through to the end.  I had to gather what energy I could and remind myself we were minutes away from meeting our baby girl. I think Andrew also used every last ounce of his energy to practically fold me in half so I could push with all the strength I had left.   Wednesday morning, we both felt like we had gone through a five hour workout; every muscle in my body burned.

Finally, on Tuesday, September 27th at 8:48 PM, we heard the beautiful cry of our baby girl.  She was 8 lbs. and 4 oz. of pure perfection. In that moment, I felt a love beyond description.  I finally understood when people told me about not knowing unconditional love until you hold your child in your arms for the first time.

 
As I reflect back on our pregnancy and the labor and delivery process, I cannot say enough good things about our midwives and our doula.  I know we couldn't have had the beautiful birth experience we had without their assistance.  The day our daughter was born was a whirlwind day, but I will always look back on it with gratitude for those who encouraged and allowed us to have the birth we set out to have.