Welcome To Parenthood: Weeks 1 and 2

We have made it through the first two and a half weeks of parenthood with only a few meltdowns and more than a few tears from multiple members of the household.  Over the past few weeks, we have had a crash course in parenting.  I did a lot of reading before I got pregnant and during my pregnancy, and thought I had most of it figured out.  No amount of research and reading could prepare me for the roller coaster of emotions over the past two weeks.

Of all the lists I combed through on Pinterest before having miss Isabelle, none of them covered a few key things I have now learned and wish I had known ahead of time: 

1.  Your emotions starting on day three or four after delivery are going to be out of control.  It's normal, and it will get better soon.  While I knew my hormones would be all over the place after delivery, I wasn't prepared for the total crash a few days after coming home from the hospital.  While I was in the hospital after having Isabelle, I was riding the high that came with delivery.  Once we were home, a new reality set in.  I cried at the drop of a hat over absolutely nothing, or sometimes it was actually over something.  I was a mess, and poor Andrew had to pick up the pieces more than a few times.  One late night feeding I looked down at our new little bundle and broke down at the thought of sending her off to daycare in six weeks, which is something I never thought I would struggle with.  That's only the tip of the iceberg on things that caused me to cry that first week after delivery.   

2. It's OK if breastfeeding doesn't come naturally and you and/or baby struggle with it.  In all my reading before delivery, I had created a perfect image in my head of our little bundle arriving and instantly having an amazing latch and getting all the nourishment she needed from me.  What I wasn't prepared for was the possibility of supply issues, soreness, issues with latching, or the total dependency breastfeeding creates.  We were sent home from the hospital with some samples of supplementation formula.  While I had every intention of exclusively breastfeeding our beautiful bundle, I wasn't prepared for the potential of not being able to keep up with her needs.  On our second night home as she was screaming, seemingly out of hunger, we caved and broke out a bottle of formula.  After scarfing down two ounces of formula, our bundle passed out.  I spent the next several days hating myself for giving in and giving her formula.  I'm not sure how many times it took Andrew telling me that it was OK and I wasn't a bad mom before I actually believed him.  Luckily, my supply has picked up with the help of some herbal supplements, tea, lactation cookies, oatmeal.... breastfeeding is a job, and I'm still trying to iron out the details of my new job.  For now, we have struck a balance between breastfeeding and supplementing with formula.   

3. Babies don't sleep through the night right away.  Sleeping still isn't something we have mastered just yet.  Someone doesn't like "bedtime".  Most nights, it is a two to three hour process to get her down for the night.  I realize, she is only two weeks old and this will come with time.  This sleep deprived mama hopes this fight will only be for a few more weeks.  Luckily, she is good about waking up every three hours to eat.  It was only a few nights ago that I stopped setting an alarm to wake her up.  I finally realized after two weeks that she wakes up to eat every three hours like clock work.  The nights I was setting an alarm, she was waking up ten minutes before my alarm went off.  The first night I didn't set an alarm, I was worried sick she wouldn't wake up to eat.  Luckily, I can add that to the list of silly things to worry about as a parent since she woke up every three hours like a champ.  Feedings have become a little more efficient now too, so when we do wake up it isn't for two or three hours at a time.  Someone also should have told me that the first and second night home are likely going to be the worst, because they were.  I was up for a four hour stretch with her our first night home because she woke up every time I would try to put her back down in her bassinet.     

4. Take care of yourself.  People told me this before I delivered.  The nurses and midwives told me this after I delivered.  It's true that you are no good to anyone if you don't take care of yourself.  Ask for help.  I hate asking for help, it literally pains me when I can't do things for myself.  However, I knew I needed to be able to let others help me for a few weeks while my body was recovering.  Things are sore after delivery.  I can't spring up of the couch like I used to.  I get tired walking the dogs down to the corner and back.  I have to take a break after folding a load of laundry.  At the end of each day, I have to remind myself this is all OK.   After a week and a half of no driving and being stuck in the house, I asked Andrew to watch Izzy while I ran to Target.  It did a world of good for me to get out of the house even if it was for thirty minutes.  Something about taking a shower, putting on normal underwear rather than the mesh underwear they send you home from the hospital in (don't get me wrong, those things are a total God send), driving, and taking in my first sips of Starbucks espresso in nine months made me feel like a normal human again for a few minutes.  This week, Andrew watched Izzy again for a couple of hours while I went to dinner with my work team.  I know it's these small outings that are going to keep me on track.  I love being a mommy to our little girl, and I love the time I spend with her.  However, I also know I cannot forget about myself either.  I'm eternally grateful for a husband who understands and supports me in my effort to balance being a new mommy with still being me.

 Mommy's first outing post baby - still looking about three months 

pregnant, but I'm ok with that right now.

As for Isabelle, she has had a big couple of weeks.  She had her first few appointments with the doctor, her first trip to Target, watched her first Packers game (she might have slept through most of it), her first solo outing with mommy, and her first time out at a restaurant.  At her two week appointment, she was back up to her birth weight and was happy, healthy, and already growing like a weed.  I see changes in her even over these two short weeks.  She is awake more each day, and I love watching her face as she takes in the world around her.  As I hold her, I remind myself to cherish the quiet moments I get with her now.  I know in the blink of an eye she will outgrow my lap.