13 months Old

It was another eventful month for Izzy.  We had a lot of fun celebrating all the fall festivities with her.  She was a little too young last year to do anything but sleep through Trick-Or-Treat, and we weren't about to drag a one month old out to the pumpkin patch last year (nor did I feel like moving more than 10 ft at a time at that point).  

We kicked off this month with a trip to the orchard.  It was chilly, but Izzy had a fun time playing in the dirt and helping grandma and grandpa pick out pumpkins! 

Izzy joined one of her friends out at Living History Farms for a fun Trick-Or-Treat event.  Our cute little strawberry had a great time.  She was quite selective with her candy, and was not a fan of anyone trying to take it from her.  I think she enjoyed the animals in the petting zoo the most. It was fun to watch her trying to pronounce the names of the animals.  She seemed to identify a few of them, but can't quite pronounce their names.  Of course dog is an animal she can identify the most.  "Do" is all we get out of her though.  

Izzy rounded out the month by helping daddy hand out candy last night, and than participating in her daycare Halloween costume parade today!  

Izzy has't physically grown much this month.  She only weighs a few ounces more, and is the same length as last month.  However, her little mind is working away.  Her favorite phrase right now is "uh-oh".  Of course, that means she also enjoys throwing things on the floor so she can say "uh-oh".  Meal time has turned into a battle in an effort to not feed the dogs everything on Izzy's plate.  Some days, I just give up on my efforts.  

We have also discovered the fine art of temper tantrums.  Most of the time, I just have to walk away.  Usually if we go into full on melt down mode, I know it's because she is exhausted.  

I finally put away the rest of her 9 month clothes.  There were a few things she was still fitting into, but it was time to move up to 12 and 18 month clothes.  She is in separate sizes for the most part in tops and bottoms.  She is wearing 12 month pants (unless the pants are cut slim) and 18 month tops (for the length and room through the shoulders).  She is no doubt built like her parents.  We moved her up to size 5 shoes over the last few weeks.  Apparently, this is a popular size in toddler shoes because finding shoes in her size at a consignment shop is difficult.  I have made a few lucky finds though! I have to remind myself that the shoes need to be functional more than they need to be cute.  Consignment shopping has become a new addiction of mine.  When I know she isn't going to wear clothes for more than a few months, I have a hard time paying more than a few dollars for tops and bottoms.  I have scored some amazing finds at a couple of local consignment shops.  

I spotted a couple more teeth popping through over the last week or two, including a molar.  I don't know if it's the change in temps, or her teeth coming through, but we have been dealing with a runny nose for the last week and an extra crabby disposition.  

This next month we will be partaking in Thanksgiving festivities.  In many ways, this feels like Izzy's first round of holidays since she wasn't really conscious to the world last year.  She's much  more interactive this year, and most of the time a lot more fun!

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

This is a post I have wanted to do for a while, but haven't had the time and the thoughts haven't been complete in my head.  However, a few recent facbook posts I have seen gave me the final push.  The first article I read a few months ago.  The article was talking about how we need to stop glamorizing the "newborn" phase.  Sure, babies are cute, and they smell great (until they are covered in poop and spit up).  But, the newborn phase is also exhausting in every sense of the word that you probably never even thought possible.  A tiny human has you engaged in some sort of psychological warfare.

I have struggled with depression and anxiety for years.  When we found out we were expecting, I was excited and completely terrified at the same time.  When I was asked if I was excited, I of course said yes because I was.  However, in the silence of our house at night, I was also terrified.  I'm sure it was mostly normal stuff.  "Would I be a good mom", "what impact is this going to have on our marriage", "how are the dogs going to be", what is our life going to look like", "can we afford daycare".... the list goes on.

Nothing prepared me for the wave of emotion that came with bringing a new baby home.  Come to find out, it was totally normal.  Nobody told me about the "baby blues".  For a while, I thought I had lost my mind.  I was terrified I was going to spiral into a depressive state.  It wasn't until our doula came for our postpartum visit and told me it was totally normal to experience the emotions I was having that I realized I hadn't lost my mind.  

Over the last year, I have gone through a wave of various emotions.  I have been pushed to what I thought was the end of my wits only to find out they went a little further the following day.  Inevitably, I feel bad if I get annoyed or impatient with Izzy.  Tonight I had to remind myself to take a chill pill when Izzy had a melt down over not being able to reach something on the counter.  I get annoyed sometimes when she points at things that I know she wants me to hand her, but I have literally put everything she could have been pointing at in front of her and none of it seems to appease her.  I realize, this is her form of communication right now, and it has to be just has frustrating for her when we can't figure out what she is trying to tell us. 

I would be lying if I told you I didn't sometimes wonder what we have gotten ourselves into with this crazy thing we call parenthood.  It isn't all the happy photos you see on facebook.  An honest day in the life of a parent would exhaust anyone who hasn't experienced it.  Wake up to screaming child, battle said child to get a diaper changed and dressed for the day, prepare food for said child while she chases the dogs around and hope she doesn't get into something she shouldn't be because I don't really have a second set of eyes to keep on her while I'm cooking.  Finally sit down to eat what is now a warm breakfast at best only to have said child start launching bananas across the dining room.  Once breakfast is over, I hope for a little calm and a minute to sit and drink my coffee.  With a little coffee, I can do a lot of things; including keep my s*** together.  While I chug my coffee down, I watch as the tornado we affectionately call Izzy wreaks havoc on the main level.  The poor dogs try to find a spot they can sleep for 10 seconds before she comes barreling after them.  If only they realized if they went upstairs they could have uninterrupted peace and quiet.  Meanwhile, I'm just praying nap time comes soon and users in a phase of calm for a bit.  Actually, I will say this is one aspect of the craziness of a child that has gotten better over the last year.  There was a period where nap time and bed time was a total struggle.  Most days, I can put Izzy in her crib with a little music playing and she gets herself to sleep.  God bless this child for sleeping like her father.  Long, and like a rock!  It's not uncommon for her to sleep until 8:30 AM on the weekends.  For that, I really do love her (among many other reasons)!  After nap time is over, it's rinse, wash, and repeat from the morning.  You can see how it isn't always the easiest to get in time for errands or house projects. 

I often think of the phrase "the days are long, but the years are short".  Never has that phrase resonated with me more.  I never dreamed of being a mom, it wasn't something I grew up thinking about. Even after Andrew and I got married, we weren't 100% sure parenthood was for us.  While I wouldn't take back a single minute we have shared with Izzy, that doesn't minimize the daily struggle.  I struggle with balancing career and family, personal time for recharging and soaking up the minutes I get with Izzy or enjoying some alone time with Andrew.  I know this will be an ongoing struggle.  As we settle into our life as parents, I try to strike the fine balance of life.     

1 Year Old (part 2)

On to the second part of Izzy's one year update. We had her first birthday party a couple of weekends ago, and it was a huge success.  Thank you to everyone who helped Izzy celebrate her first birthday.  It was great to see you all; Izzy is one loved little girl! 

Izzy had her one year check up the day before her birthday party.  She weighed in at 24 lbs and 10 oz and measured 32 inches long.  As always, she is in the 99th percentile for her height and is in the 90th percentile for her weight.  She is in size 4 diapers.  She is wearing 12 month bottoms and 18 month tops (mostly for the length).  Poor kid is built like both Andrew and I in that department.  She popped two more teeth this month and is working on several others.  We discovered she knows how to climb the stairs, so we have to block them off all the time now.  We are working with her on backing down the stairs. 

This next month (yes, I realize it is almost half way over now) is another busy one!  We look forward to doing some Halloween/fall activities with Izzy.  Last fall she was really too little to be cognizant of anything related to Halloween.  We hope to take a trip to the pumpkin patch, and look forward to her first Halloween costume.  She has a Halloween party at daycare in a couple of weeks.

Now that we have rounded the corner on Izzy's first birthday, it has me reflecting on the things that worked well during our first year as parents, and things I would consider changing if there is a next time for us.  We don't know if there will be a next time (in case you were wondering). 

Things I/we would do again:
- Hire a doula - we would hire our doula again in a heartbeat!  She was amazing and made Izzy's birth experience the best we could imagine.
- Use a midwife group - we loved working with the Mercy Midwives. 
- Enjoy my pregnancy more rather than wishing it away.  I miss Izzy's kicks. 
- Stay active during my pregnancy- I really tried to get out with the dogs as much as possible for walks throughout my pregnancy.  I think being active throughout helped me have an easier labor. 
- Newborn photos - I was so glad both our parents talked us into doing newborn photos.  I love looking back on them now.
- Weekly progress updates - I also love looking back on my weekly updates to see the progression of my pregnancy.
- Invest in a pregnancy pillow- I hardly had any back pain when I was pregnant, and I think a lot of it had to do with my amazing pillow.  Yes, it took up most of the bed, but Andrew and the dogs made it work. 

Things I/we would do differently:
- Not find out the gender - I think it would be fun to have a surprise at the birth!
- Maternity photos - I had them booked and the deposit paid when I was pregnant with Izzy, but couldn't justify the expense and ended up cancelling them. 
- Stock the freezer - remember when we did a whole day of meal prep to stock the freezer before Izzy was born?  Yeah, that was the BEST idea!  We had meals for almost a month and a half.  It was a total life saver. 
- Placenta encapsulation - the post-partum hormones were no joke.  I have read great things about placenta encapsulation helping with those hormones
- Sleep when baby sleeps- people said this when I was pregnant.  When Izzy was napping, I was always worried about getting the house clean, doing laundry, etc.  Sleep is important, the other stuff not so much.
- Push tummy time - we really didn't push tummy time with Izzy.  As a result, she was five months old before.  I don't think she is permanently damaged as a result, just something I would change if there is a next time.
- Use glass bottles - I don't really have a reason for this one other than because I want to and I think they are more sanitary. 
- Buy fewer bottles - honestly, we have way too many bottles.  I would probably only buy 5 4 oz bottles and a couple of 8 oz bottles.  Izzy doesn't really take more than 5 oz at a time (except at bedtime).  I have a drawer full of 8 oz bottles that aren't really getting used. 
- Skin to skin - I would do more skin to skin contact after birth.  We really didn't do a whole lot of skin to skin with Izzy, and I think that might have improved our breastfeeding experience.
- Not use a nipple shield - I do blame the nipple shield for part of our supply issues. 
- Invest in a Spectra pump - I have heard great things about them!
- Take a full 12 weeks of maternity leave - this is probably my biggest regret about the early days.  I was concerned about going without pay or draining my time off.  Those are days and weeks I will not get back.  I underestimated the total life adjustment we would have after Izzy's arrival. 
- Have a baby in the spring - OK, this one is just funny for me.  I always said that I wanted a spring baby, and we ended up with a fall baby.  Just how things turned out for us.  I wouldn't change it.  As much as I love spring, I actually feel re-charged by fall.

See you all in a few weeks for our 13 month update!

1 Year Old (Part 1)

We made it.  We survived one year of parenthood and Izzy survived one year of us.  This last month has been quite eventful.  We kicked off the month with Izzy's first vacation.  Of course, it was to Green Bay, Wisconsin.  Where else would she go for her first vacation? 

Unfortunately, I got the bright idea to switch her formula out to a toddler transition formula just before our vacation.  She was quite crabby during our vacation, and I have a hunch this was part of the reason.  I'm not sure her system appreciated the formula change.  To add to that, she was working on a couple more teeth. Despite her extra crabbiness, we did have a good time on our trip.  We were gone seven days in total.  We rented a cabin for the week in Door County, which was beautiful!  During our time there, we traveled from end to end of the peninsula. 

The day after we came back from vacation, we took Izzy's 1 year photos.  We had quite the time getting some good photos out of Izzy that day.  Our wonderful photographer did a great job getting capturing some special moments despite Izzy's disposition that day. 

These are just a few of my favorites of the bunch.  Photo credit to Katie Lindgren Photograpy.  Hopefully next year Izzy is in a little better mood for photos. 

The rest of the month was busy while we prepared for Izzy's big first birthday.  It's hard to believe a year has passed since we welcomed our ball of fire into this world.  It's been a whirlwind year, but we wouldn't have it any other way! 

As we celebrate Izzy's first birthday, that means we have also crossed the finish line to my goal of breastfeeding Izzy for a year.  It wasn't easy, and it may not have been how I initially pictured it would go.  We fought for each ounce.  We worked through a bad latch and low supply.  We relied on donor milk from a friend to get us through the first weeks of daycare.  The last couple of months my supply had dwindled to practically nothing, and Izzy was really too busy to nurse most of the time.  Sometimes she will nurse in the morning when waking up.  She has gone through spurts where she had no interest in night nursing, but sometimes it's still the only thing that will calm her down at night.  I'm not sure when we will be done nursing at this point, so for now I cherish whatever remaining days we have on this journey together.

For more on the life and times of Izzy from 11 months to a year, stay tuned for my next post!