New Year, Almost

Since this is my first post after Christmas, I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Ours flew by pretty quick with Andrew working a lot of overtime.

 

I know it isn't quite the New Year yet, but I have to work tomorrow so today is my chance to post this. I'm not really a huge New Years Resolution person, mostly because I know I wont carry them out. I know, that is kind of a lame excuse, but I don't really enjoy setting myself up for failure if I can help it. While doing some reflection the past couple of weeks, I have come to a few conclusions about what I want to do in the new year. So, rather than making a bunch of small goals, I am going to use one rule of thumb for the year: does it make me happy (queue Sheryl Crow song here)? Now, before you all jump my case about that being a really selfish goal, let me explain.

 

I am a huge people pleaser, and I know I'm not the only one with this problem. Being a people pleaser isn't necessarily a bad thing, except when you are constantly compromising your own happiness for that of others. This is what I have learned after 15 plus year of therapy, and I don’t want to know how much money. I have gotten better at sticking up for myself over the years, and saying no when I would normally say yes because I didn't want to let someone down. But, I still struggle with a lot of the large decisions in life, and you would think those would be the easier ones.

 

One of my biggest motivators for this seemingly selfish goals is at some point in the next couple of years, we are likely going to look at starting a family (aside from the two children we already have, Buddy and Maya). Being a parent is the most selfless job in the world. So, while I can, I am going to take some final "me time".

 

In order to really start this hard look at the things in my life that do and don't make me happy, I decided to take inventory.

 

Things that make me happy:

 

My family: I love them all to death. This includes my immediate and extended family, my husband and my four legged children.

 

Coffee: yes, boys and girls, coffee is on this list because it makes me happy. When I can sit down with my coffee in a quiet room, that is Zen time for me.

 

Travel: I LOVE to travel, unfortunately money precludes me from doing it as often as I would like. Andrew and I both love to travel, so we try and make it a point of going on one big trip a year. The other day I announced to him that among the small things I want to do before we have a baby, I want to go to Paris.

 

Reading: Now, this is a hard one for me because it is something I haven't done in a long time. I was excited to graduate college so I could finally read what I wanted, but that didn't happen. In fact, I think I have now been on an almost three year reading hiatus. I can't tell you the last book I finished. Sad, I know.

 

*This is by no means an exhaustive list of things that make me happy, but it gives you a general idea.

 

Now for the tough stuff, and this made for some tough decisions.

 

As you have followed along with throughout the summer, Andrew and I have been on the go working on weddings across the state. It makes for some fun times, early mornings and late nights. It is really hard to explain everything that goes into these weddings, loading and unloading a trailer, leaving town at 5:00 AM to return home at 2:00 AM the following day, hauling furniture including sofas and hutches in and out of rooms, setting tables and chairs, etc. While it is rewarding to see the brides and grooms happy when they see everything come together, it makes for some really long days. Working full time, and being on the go all weekend took its toll on me. There were Monday's I had to take time off to simply sleep. Living of less than 10 hours of sleep in 72 hours doesn't cut it for me. At the start of this adventure, I was excited to work with flowers again. Flowers are one of my passions. However, it grew into so much more than just working with flowers. I literally felt like I gave up my whole summer. We were around most of July, but it was too hot to do much of anything. So while this decision is probably going to mean some hurt feelings, I think it is time for Andrew and I to step away from this adventure. In the end, the sacrifice outweighs the reward.

 

I need more time to be with family, work in the yard, work on the house, enjoy life! I want to take more walks with the dogs, take more day trips, and actually complete a few of the projects we want to. This next year, I want to actually finish a book, take a vacation with the dogs, get the house organized, get more work done in the yard, eat more ice cream, actually work out on a regular basis, have more picnics, and grill out more. What are your resolutions?